Zoom Divorce...And other Lessons We've Learned from the Pandemic

Have you heard of the 'Zoom Divorce'?  Up until yesterday I had not.  Then on the radio in the car yesterday, I heard 'Zoom Divorce' three times in my short commute to the office. It's 13 months into dealing with the COVID pandemic and we've learned so many new things, why not divorce?  It's another positive thing that has come out of being locked down.  Let me elaborate...

Before COVID, I depended on coffee meetups to catchup with friends. Always time limited and only with those who lived near by.  Since March 2021, I've had many Zoom calls with friends right across Canada.  We don't always talk for a long time and we could have called on our phones but it's great to actually see each other.

I've got family in the US on both coasts.  Before COVID we only saw each other at weddings and funerals.  In the past year we've Zoomed numerous times just to say hi.  The highlight was Christmas Eve 2020 when we all sat in front of our respective Christmas Trees to wish each other the best of the season.

We've done Zoom wedding and baby showers.  Pleasantly surprised at how well these went.  With gifts purchased online and shipped directly, everyone seemed to have a great time.

While on a Sunday evening walk this past weekend, we chatted with a neighbour who attended a Zoom wedding.  She loved it.  Her niece and fiancé decided to use Zoom to celebrate their wedding with all their family and friends rather than delay until sometime in 2022...maybe!

And of course, I've attended a Zoom funeral.  This was tougher than a live in-person affair...I was alone and without the in-person contact, it felt unfinished.  

So a Zoom Divorce makes all the sense in the world.  Kudos to the Legal Firm who put the campaign together.  If you want more info, check out this article in the Toronto Star:  Divorce is still divorce, but doing it via zoom may be less painful.

Until next time...

Sidewalk Won!

"Ouch!"  Or something similar when I took a tumble on a run last week!  Mental lapse.  I misjudged the height of a concrete slab of sidewalk that had heaved up.  Down I went.  Hard!  

Fortunately I went with it...didn't fight it.  As I hit the ground, I rolled onto my side and bounced right back up.  Stunned, but not feeling that anything was broken or sprained, I kept on running.  I could feel the bruises on my knees but I figured I'd deal with it when I got home...only a mile away!

Then I shared it on Facebook! 

Be Humble: A Lesson from a Run

I've crossed paths with him many times while out running. An older guy, running slowly but smoothly.  We've acknowledged each other with a wave.  Up until yesterday, we'd never spoken.

"How old are you? he asked as I came up beside him.

"63" I answered proudly as I moved past.  "How old are you?"

"74" he responded easily without breaking stride.

"Dam" I said to myself.  "He makes running look so easy".

As I moved ahead, I called out, "I want to be just like you".

Later that day as I reflected on that brief exchange, I got thinking...

I've been feeling pretty cocky since the kids gave me a Samsung Active 2 for my birthday.  Running 6:20 km's comfortably with the occasional 5:20/km speedy bursts.  I've become obsessed with running the last kilometer the fastest.  Once back home, I've stared at the run stats after they've synced with my phone.  I've even dreamt about running even faster times.  And yet, there was this guy running not much slower than the times I was celebrating...and he was 11 years older!

I felt humble! 

In running and in life it's so easy to get caught up competing with others. A bigger house, nicer car, larger TV, newer smartphone...you know, 'Keeping up with the Jones's'.  What a foolish game! No matter how good you are at your job, how blessed you are accumulating money, how good your health is, there is always someone somewhere better at your job, richer than you are, in better health!  

Be humble.  Accept what you have and leverage your strengths and abilities as far as you can take them! And through it all, remain humble!

Until next time...

Chris Morales

Living With Crisis

My Dad found humour in my diligent need to plan for the future.  He believed in living in the present.  You can appreciate our lifelong conversations.  He passed away 12 years ago and I miss those talks.  He'd get a big laugh out of the pandemic we've found ourselves in for the past year.  I can hear him now, "How's your plan coming along?"

I argue that we are always living with crisis.  It's the severity and the pace of the changes that cause us stress.  This past year has put us to the test.  Moving forward means we must learn how to live with the fallout of the pandemic...for sure there is no going back to normal!  And 'new normal'?  That's a crock!

Here's what I've experienced and learned over the past year:

1. Keep planning for the future.  Without goals and objectives we die.
2. Be flexible.  Keep your eye on the present and be ready to change or pivot quickly.
3. Stay calm.  Getting excited brings an extra level of emotion to your decision making ability.  That's not good when in a crisis.  
4. Stop being a drama queen (or king).  There is enough crazy to go around.  Don't add to it with your own dramatic narrative.
5. Help others.  Our survival as a society depends on it!
6. Be decent to each other.  Rudeness was never in. 
7. Keep smiling!  That can be hard to do especially when things are not going well.  Your smile can help someone though...and that is worth something!

No, I'm not a psychologist so take the above list with a grain of salt.  It works for me...maybe it will help you live better through crisis.

Until next time...

Chris