Falling Asleep

Falling asleep has been difficult for the past year. I like being in bed I just can't sleep.  And I should note:  It's a King-sized bed!

I know I have trouble falling asleep and getting a good night's sleep because my Fitbit reports that every morning. And I check it every morning!  Hmmm...that could be part of the problem.

I get up super early.  Some mornings on the weekend, I'm up as the parties are winding down.  I've hear a few party-goers chuckle as they see my running by.  And by super early I mean 3:30 am!  

The morning routine is pretty rigid every day including weekends:  I make the bed, brew coffee, read before taking Milo out around 4:15 am.  We walk for about 20 minutes and he does all his business.  I think he likes it because he trots along at a brisk clip.  He may be doing that to get back inside quickly.  Once back inside he marches back into his crate and curls up.

I head out around 4:45 am for my morning run.  My goal is around 45 minutes and most mornings I get through that comfortably.  I've give up raw speed and rest days to keep up the consecutive day streak...now over 1,600 days.  

After showering and breakfast, I spend a few minutes on the computer before heading out to drop Milo off for the day.  The weekends are a little bit different:  Saturday I head out for my Big Breakfast cheat meal (Eggs, bacon, toast, hash browns) and on Sunday its Church.

As you may imagine by mid-afternoon I'm pooched!  A Coke Zero caffeine hit is necessary to get to the end of the work day.

Once home, the trouble begins.  Milo and I like watching TV.  Again, I believe he likes it because he curls up on his special fluffy blanked on the sofa beside me.  I usually make it 45 minutes before nodding off.  Around 8 pm I stumble out with Milo for his last outing before heading back in for the evening.

I read, write and listen to music for about 45 minutes before turning in for the evening.  And that's the challenge:  I don't fall asleep quickly and then once asleep, I wake frequently throughout the night.  

I've tried everything:  Over-the-counter sleep aids (don't like them...they leave me groggy in the morning); Melatonin (How many are too many?); Meditation; Hot showers; warm milk (Ugh).  Nothing seems to work.  I've heard CBD works but I've not tried that yet.

I know, I know...the early evening napping probably has something to do with this.  And certainly the stress of the past year still plays heavily on my mind.  I've pretty much resigned myself to this being my normal.  It's really quiet at 3:30 am and I've read some really good books over the past year.

Falling asleep...may not be a problem at all.

Until next time...

Back to Church

I went back to church this year.  I'd been away a long time.  The institution seemed moribund and not relevant.  But I went back anyway.

I was baptized a Catholic.  I have the original certificate safely tucked away.  My first school was St. Theresa's Preparatory School on Deanery Road in Kingston, Jamaica.  Because of my February birth date and because there was no kindergarten in those days, I entered First Grade at 3 1/2 years old.  My Dad dropped me off on my first day and he told the story for many years of how I got up from the desk wailing and chasing after him.  Yes, a most inauspicious start to a Catholic education. It seemed scary:  The teacher as nice as she turned out to be, was a nun covered entirely in a white smock.  Nothing showing except face and hands.  

Religion was a big part of the curriculum from that early start.  Catholic taught by Jesuits.  Faith in a higher power; Belief in the unknown; a moral and ethical code; a Community.  These were instilled from an early stage. We hade religion classes and went to church during school regularly.

On to high school.  Campion College 'uptown'.  The Jesuit priests who ran Campion College were an interesting bunch.  Father Ryan, a tall Texan taught me how to street fight:  'Hit fast, hit hard...if he gets up, run!  Live to fight another day!'.  Father Riel taught us Latin and Religion.  That was an interesting mix...I still remember conjugating my verbs!  

At Campion we learned how to integrate religion into daily life; that religion and 'real life' are not separate. Religion as a belief system can be a good way to live life.  It came down this:  Living well meant working hard, playing fairly, treating people with respect, helping others.  It's what I learned...it's what I believe today!

My kids went to Catholic school from kindergarten to high school.  Both schools were close to home and we liked the connection to the religious.  I see today how their exposure to the religious has tempered their behavior. I am pleased.

Sally and I went to Church on-and-off over the years.  We had both been married in the Catholic Church previously so when we decided to get married, there was only choice for us.  After a lengthy annulment process (that is another story!), we tied the knot in a church service in front of immediate family.  Expressing our marriage vows in front of grown children was an awesome experience!  

Then we dropped off.  For various reasons we stopped going to church.  We turned negative in fact, disgusted by the behavior of members of the clergy. We were sickened by the institution.  I struggled with reconciling the positive influences of the nuns and priests in my earlier life with the horrifying stories in the press.  

It stayed that way for years.  But there was always a tug, something deep down that kept me connected.

Our world got upended in January of this year and it's been a scramble to adjust.  Its been like living in a pea soup fog in a twilight zone.  I can't see anything and when I bump into something it is strange.  

The tug back to the church intensified.  

There are a number of Catholic churches near me and I looked into all of them.  In the end I chose Our Lady of Sorrows on Bloor Street at Royal York Road.  The deciding factor was the sound.  Let me explain:  OLS is an old-school styled church building.  Tall ceiling, columns and a real pipe organ up in the mezzanine at the back of the church.  The sound of that booming organ did it for me!  I joined the congregation in March and attend the 8 am Mass on Sunday morning.  I walk to church each Sunday and I haven't missed a service yet!  Routine...obsession...whatever!

I love the weekly experience.  The familiarity of the Mass routine, the same people each week...it gives me a feeling of connection and peace.  I like that.

And maybe that's all religion and 'going to church' really is:  A place and time to reflect on life.  To recharge the spirit. To have a moral code.  To be part of a community.  From that perspective, going back to church has renewed my faith in the goodness of people.  And that's worth something.

Until next time...

Coming together at Reggae Marathon

There's a coming together at Reggae Marathon 2023 that promises a spectacular ending to one hell of a year!  It's been along time coming.

The story begins in 2008 when I ran my first and only marathon at Reggae Marathon in Negril, Jamaica.  I did it with Sally's full support.  

It was a fund raiser as well.  Together, Sally and I raised over $5,000 for the Canadian Diabetes Foundation, the charity we picked to honor my Dad who passed away in 2007.  A complex confluence of emotions surrounded that first Reggae Marathon event.  And it was there that we came together with the Reggae Marathon family from Jamaica and around the world that continued for 11 years. It has endured to this day.

Over the course of those annual pilgrimages to Negril, a couple of my sons came along.  Courtney paced me through the finish of one half marathon sacrificing his time to see me through a challenging race.  The next year both he and his twin brother Andrew made the trek along with a couple of friends.  That year we also connected with our Jamaican family...that was a race weekend to remember!  

After coming along for the first two races, Sally begged off.  As a non-runner and not a sun worshiper as I was, the race weekend didn't offer her much.  As the Reggae Marathon social media guy I was busy all of the time in Negril. She let me get away every December to 'play with my Reggae Marathon family'.  Thank you Sally!

I stopped going to Negril for Reggae Marathon after the 2019 event.  I felt then that 11 consecutive years was enough.  And what timing!  Who knew about COVID 19 that would stop the world for the next couple of years including the live Reggae Marathon event.  But the Reggae Marathon stuck together.  On one of his annual vacations to Negril toward the end of the pandemic, Larry Savitch a long-time runner and Reggae Marathon regular, posted beach pictures.  I lived vicariously through those posts.  Thank you Larry.

But the pull to go back to Reggae Marathon continued.

I had planned to run Reggae Marathon in 2022.  That changed in March when Sally got diagnosed with brain cancer.  Everything changed that day.  

Sally passed away in January 2023.  We held her celebration of life this past August, a day before her 69th birthday. It was a joyous event celebrating a life lived well!

One of the photos in the collage I put together has her sitting under the broiling sun at the finish line of that first Marathon in 2008.  

I finished over an hour later than I had told her, and worried about her worrying about me.  But as I ran down the finish chute and saw her sitting there smiling...there are no words! I felt her presence that day on the final few miles to the finish.  Thank you Sally!

Earlier this year Courtney, Andrew and Holden hatched a plan for a family vacation.  In no time we settled on Negril in December.  We're booked now: kids, spouses, grandkids...12 in all. We've even got a few other friends and families coming along!  Courtney, Andrew and I are running in the Reggae Marathon and the non-runners in our family will make up a large cheering section at the finish!  Can't wait!

Despite not being a fan of the broiling sun or heat, Sally will be looking down on us this December.  She'll be smiling as she watches her family come together at Reggae Marathon 2023.

Until next time...

It's just a sign

Elon called.  He wants his sign back!  I love that Twitter, I mean 'X' cares so much about pedestrians.  Just like their cars!

Don't enter but go that way!  Drivers can be forgiven for finding this just a little bit confusing.  

Don't make a U turn to the left.  Does that make it OK to make a U turn to the right?  Asking for a friend.

The 'Correct' lane exists.  

Until next time...