Back to Church

I went back to church this year.  I'd been away a long time.  The institution seemed moribund and not relevant.  But I went back anyway.

I was baptized a Catholic.  I have the original certificate safely tucked away.  My first school was St. Theresa's Preparatory School on Deanery Road in Kingston, Jamaica.  Because of my February birth date and because there was no kindergarten in those days, I entered First Grade at 3 1/2 years old.  My Dad dropped me off on my first day and he told the story for many years of how I got up from the desk wailing and chasing after him.  Yes, a most inauspicious start to a Catholic education. It seemed scary:  The teacher as nice as she turned out to be, was a nun covered entirely in a white smock.  Nothing showing except face and hands.  

Religion was a big part of the curriculum from that early start.  Catholic taught by Jesuits.  Faith in a higher power; Belief in the unknown; a moral and ethical code; a Community.  These were instilled from an early stage. We hade religion classes and went to church during school regularly.

On to high school.  Campion College 'uptown'.  The Jesuit priests who ran Campion College were an interesting bunch.  Father Ryan, a tall Texan taught me how to street fight:  'Hit fast, hit hard...if he gets up, run!  Live to fight another day!'.  Father Riel taught us Latin and Religion.  That was an interesting mix...I still remember conjugating my verbs!  

At Campion we learned how to integrate religion into daily life; that religion and 'real life' are not separate. Religion as a belief system can be a good way to live life.  It came down this:  Living well meant working hard, playing fairly, treating people with respect, helping others.  It's what I learned...it's what I believe today!

My kids went to Catholic school from kindergarten to high school.  Both schools were close to home and we liked the connection to the religious.  I see today how their exposure to the religious has tempered their behavior. I am pleased.

Sally and I went to Church on-and-off over the years.  We had both been married in the Catholic Church previously so when we decided to get married, there was only choice for us.  After a lengthy annulment process (that is another story!), we tied the knot in a church service in front of immediate family.  Expressing our marriage vows in front of grown children was an awesome experience!  

Then we dropped off.  For various reasons we stopped going to church.  We turned negative in fact, disgusted by the behavior of members of the clergy. We were sickened by the institution.  I struggled with reconciling the positive influences of the nuns and priests in my earlier life with the horrifying stories in the press.  

It stayed that way for years.  But there was always a tug, something deep down that kept me connected.

Our world got upended in January of this year and it's been a scramble to adjust.  Its been like living in a pea soup fog in a twilight zone.  I can't see anything and when I bump into something it is strange.  

The tug back to the church intensified.  

There are a number of Catholic churches near me and I looked into all of them.  In the end I chose Our Lady of Sorrows on Bloor Street at Royal York Road.  The deciding factor was the sound.  Let me explain:  OLS is an old-school styled church building.  Tall ceiling, columns and a real pipe organ up in the mezzanine at the back of the church.  The sound of that booming organ did it for me!  I joined the congregation in March and attend the 8 am Mass on Sunday morning.  I walk to church each Sunday and I haven't missed a service yet!  Routine...obsession...whatever!

I love the weekly experience.  The familiarity of the Mass routine, the same people each week...it gives me a feeling of connection and peace.  I like that.

And maybe that's all religion and 'going to church' really is:  A place and time to reflect on life.  To recharge the spirit. To have a moral code.  To be part of a community.  From that perspective, going back to church has renewed my faith in the goodness of people.  And that's worth something.

Until next time...