A smoking runner

We have a new running event.  It's called, 'The 100M Smoking Dash'.  If you haven't heard of it yet, brace yourself for summer 2024 at the next Olympics.  They have scheduled it for right after the 4 x 100M Relay and it's meant to close out the Track and Field events.  I can't wait!

The 100M sprint is an anaerobic event.  Aerobic efficiency is not as important as power.  The Sprinters transition to the Smoking Dash without stress.  And they don't have to change their diet or training program...they only have to add smoking for the duration of the event, around 10 seconds.

The tricky part are the Smoking Dash rules.  Runners must get into the starter blocks with their cigarette already lit.  They have to keep it firmly in their mouths from the crack of the starter's pistol until they hit the finish line.  They cannot touch the cigarette with any body parts and the cigarette must be lit when they cross the finish line.  If the cigarette falls out while they are sprinting, they are automatically disqualified.  After the race the race judge will measure the remaining cigarette to ensure that more than 50% remains.  If not, again, immediate disqualification.

Another unique of the Smoking Dash is that there will be sponsors.  The sprinters will wear the colours of the companies that manufacture the cigarettes they smoke while competing.  They will also have to smoke their sponsor's cigarettes at the medal ceremony.  

The Smoking Dash is going to make for great television!

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this is all a fabrication.  It was triggered when I saw a gentleman running to catch a bus last week with a cigarette dangling from his lips.  I've never smoked. It's not a habit I learned to love.  I've never experienced nicotine addition...or withdrawal. I'm a long-time runner and need maximum oxygen efficiency to run comfortably.  Thus...I don't smoke.   

But this guy...he had form.  He made the 25 metres to the bus look effortless.  I had to give him props!

No, there is no smoking running event.  But I bet it would be a hit!

Until next time...